


ありがとう

by tenshisama (chicken_nuggie)



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2015-10-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:27:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chicken_nuggie/pseuds/tenshisama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akihiko's been suspiciously quiet and productive for long enough to cause growing concern in not only his editor, but also his only roommate. What Misaki finds only crushes his heart in an instant, causing for an avalanche of anxieties to come down on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ありがとう

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! Before treading into this fan fiction, understand that beyond here lies implied self-harm, self-deprecation, vomiting, and a short period in a hospital environment. Should these themes unsettle you and upset you, I highly recommend you don't proceed with reading this. If you do read this with those kept in mind, and you still get upset, I am not to be held responsible! Read on at your own risk.
> 
> With that, I hope you'll enjoy the read.

"Usagi-san?" It had been an unusually quiet day for Takahashi Misaki. He was used to hearing even just the novelist grumble about deadlines or some sort of award he had to go and accept. However, it had been incredibly quiet today, and only one sign of Akihiko being alive was the steady sound of typing from his room. It was beginning to worry the younger of the two, to the point he was standing at the elder's door, having spoken up in a soft tone in case the elder was busier than he knew.

Instead of getting any response, he felt his phone start vibrating in his pocket before ringing. Picking it up and answering, the voice of the novelist's editor sounded through the speaker. "Misaki-kun, is everything alright there? I know Usami-sensei isn't particularly social, and I know he especially despises meetings for awards or anything that pulls him from his apartment, but... I received a call from a good friend of his-- I know, it's impressive he has someone like that-- that Usami-sensei was... Acting incredibly peculiar for his usual self. Could you check up on him?"

"Ah... Yeah, Aikawa-san, if you say so. I'll do my best." Saying goodbyes, he shuts the phone before he hears a loud thump on the floor in Akihiko's room. Now, that would've just been brushed off as entirely normal, but after that call, his concern had only doubled. "Usagi-san? I'm coming in!" Announcing this from outside the door, the brunette opens the door slowly, looking around as he did so.

It was the usual, same old room he had grown used to seeing in disarray. Nothing looked particularly out of order, until his eyes fell on Akihiko's form on the floor. While that would, normally, be incredibly usual of this situation, something wasn't right. His breathing was shallow and he looked paler than his usual complexion. "Usagi-san!" Immediately falling to the floor to feel the older's forehead, he found he was incredibly cold. Getting up, he grabs the thickest blanket off the bed in  there, forcing Akihiko to wrap up in it.

"Usagi-san! Hey! Answer me you damn rabbit!" Trying to resist the urge to shake the older violently, he felt his heart racing as he listened to that shallow breathing. Why was Akihiko like this? Had he not been paying attention enough lately...? Had Haruhiko or Fuyuhiko stopped by recently? Had they said something to him recently? It was scaring Misaki more than anything, and he tries to drag the older out of the room, only to wind up slipping on a paper, and falling down hard.

"Shit-- I really need to do something, but I-I can't pick him up..." He was feeling entirely too close to breaking down in sobs, and before he did, he phoned for an ambulance. After doing so, he did his best to not break into a panic and start sobbing. Instead, he decided to busy himself with checking what Akihiko had been doing before collapsing.

It looked like one of his novels, but of course it was only a draft... However, as he started reading, his stomach felt sick. The novels Akihiko had been writing didn't... They didn't have this kind of sickening, agonizing emotion to them like this did. The writing itself was, as usual, very beautiful... But it felt so incredibly lonely, compared to what he had been recently publishing. To try and not start sobbing, he checks Akihiko's cell phone, only to find 17 missed calls and 22 unread messages. All of them were from the same contact-- Hiroki.

"...?" As he waited in a nervous sweat for the ambulance, he reads through the texts, most of them being repeated and slowly deteriorating as it seemed the sender was getting panicked. The last one was the biggest punch to the gut. 'Akihiko please pick up please i need to know you're ok please akihiko' was all that had been written, and Misaki felt a lump forming even more steadily in his throat. What had happened?

Before he could even start bawling, he heard footsteps charging up the stairs from the living room, and he nearly jumped out of the room to lead the emergency workers over to Akihiko's body. "I-I don't know what's wrong, he's never... He's never collapsed like this before, a-and I couldn't pick him up, please... Please tell me he's gonna be okay...!" One of them could only nod to him and offer soft words of assurance. Thankfully, he was allowed to ride back in the ambulance to the hospital, before Akihiko was rushed to emergency care.

It was about then that he felt his legs turning to gelatin. His heart ached and throbbed in agony that he didn't notice the signs, didn't notice anything peculiar that could have signaled this happening. "Please... Please be okay..." He mumbles to himself as he collapses on a chair in the lobby, sobbing to himself. No one could stop the tears once they started. No one but the one man who was the source of these hot streaks falling down his face.

Deciding this was as good a time as any to do so, he shakily calls Aikawa first, letting her know about the situation through broken sobs. She was surprisingly calm, but according to her sources, Akihiko had apparently turned his manuscripts in early this time. Apparently, this had raised red flags for her, but she didn't think it could be this bad. While they were on the phone, she then directs the call to Isaka, and the president said he would allow Misaki to miss work that day, with how incredibly broken down the young man seemed to sound.

"Y'know chi-- ...Takahashi-kun, you're probably the only one who could have helped him like this." Isaka's words ran deep, causing for a sob to rip itself from his throat. "You are something special to him, y'know? Take good care of him." With that, the president handed the phone back to Aikawa and she said her goodbyes and well wishes, as it was going to be impossible for her to get out of Marukawa to check on Akihiko until later. In the meantime, Misaki waited as his tears continued to roll down his cheeks, hoping with every fiber of his being that the marbles hadn't lied. That his wish would still be granted against all odds.

"Takahashi Misaki?" Perking up at the sound of the voice, he gets up and bows his head, wiping at his tears fruitlessly. "Usami Akihiko should be alright now, we have him on an IV, but he won't be allowed to leave until we're sure he's fully recovered. He was severely dehydrated and malnourished." Misaki blinked, feeling his stomach lurch at the explanation. What? Akihiko hadn't been eating? "Some findings indicate that he might have induced vomiting at some point, and it would also explain the dehydration. What is your relationship with Usami Akihiko?"

"H-He's my landlord and a family friend... We live together, and th-that's about it."

"I see. Well, Usami-san should be grateful to you tenfold. He was on the verge of serious danger there had you not found him as soon as you had." Misaki couldn't help getting even more riled up, tears streaming thick down his cheeks. "If you would like, you can stay with him in the room tonight, as he doesn't have any relatives or anyone else who can stay with him when he does wake up. He had muttered your name at some point, so, the other doctors felt it would be fair to allow you this." Misaki nods and thanks him thoroughly until the doctor escorts him to the room Akihiko was being held in.

Why did Akhiko do this to himself? Had he? Was the vomiting because of stress? Was he not getting enough sleep? Had he not been drinking enough tea or water? He had eaten the three meals with Misaki each night, even if he had... Looked terrible... But, Akihiko always looked terrible when he was working on his novels, didn't he? Maybe he had looked even worse and Misaki didn't pick up on it? Then again... Akihiko hadn't been making as many perverse remarks, or even any of those sappier, romantic ones... Had he done something wrong to hurt Akihiko?

"Here is his room. We're not sure if he's woken yet, but be careful with your voice and do your best to not yell." Misaki nods to the doctor with a shaking sniffle, slowly making his way over, even though he was a trembling mess. Taking a seat in the chair next to Akihiko's bed, he hears the door click shut before he reaches up to twine his fingers together with the hand the IV was connected to. It didn't look like he needed a respirator, though, and that made this a little less off putting. Although, being in the hospital as night was drawing near and he heard the sounds of a storm rolling in... It dredged up the worst memories, only causing more heartache for him.

"I swear, Usagi-san... You b-better not... Have lied a-about that marble... What h-happened? Did I s-say something wrong? Did Usagi-chichi or Usagi-ani say s-something?" His voice trembled, his entire body shaking as he gripped at that hand as if even his own life depended on this. He couldn't just be gone, that wasn't fair! Akihiko would surely say so himself, too, right...? Wouldn't it be unfair...? They both wished to be together forever, and then... Then this?

"..." Akihiko's face twisted into the smallest of smiles, a tear streaking one of his cheeks. "So... You did... Wish to be with me, huh?" Misaki stiffened at the sound of that familiar voice. It was the same, yet... Raspier, almost... Broken. "I... Apologize for all the trouble I've caused. Please, tell me... How much do you know?" Green hues darkened with the onslaught of sobs fell upon weak violet, and he started to explain what the doctors told him. "Ah... I want you... To know that it wasn't... Anything you said, or did, for that matter..."

"B-But I could have prevented this, Usagi-san!" His voice cracked instead of raising, tears still streaking his face. "I... I was s-so scared for you... I d-don't want to lose m-my family again..." Rubbing at his eyes with one hand, the other continues to hold tight to Akihiko's. Those soft violet hues fell shut as he brought his free hand over to settle on top of Misaki's head with a slight frown before opening his eyes again to watch how Misaki sobbed.

"Do you think... You would sob like this, if you lost Takahiro right now?" Misaki stops trembling for a fraction of a moment to stare at Akihiko. "Do you genuinely believe me to be family as he or Mahiro or his wife are?" Misaki begins trembling again, and he nods with a choked sob.

"Of course, U-Usagi-san... I... I-I love you, y-y'know?" Not quite looking at the novelist, the brunette sniffles after saying this, leaning down to kiss a few of the fingers on the hand he was holding. "You... Y-You mean so much to me and I c-can't help it that I've... I've become so selfish that I'm afraid I'm troubling you..." There's a more broken sob now, as he leans over to bury his face in Akihiko's side, carefully so. The following, almost choked back sobs were tearing at Akihiko's entire being. They hurt more than forcefully retching into a trashcan, or writing a short story to try and bleed out the pain he'd been suffering from. This was unfair to Misaki, and he was only just now realizing it.

"...my father made a fair point, a few days ago." Misaki stiffens again, turning darkened green eyes to the novelist. "You... What if you find out later, down the line... That you want a family, that you want children... That you want something I can't give to you...?" Soft violet fell upon viridescent, tears threatening to spill as he recalls the pain that had been sparked in his heart. "I have never... Had what Takahiro calls a warm, loving family... He explained that only he and his wife could even give you that, yet... You chose me... It sparked warmth in my heart, but fear in the same flame... Should I not meet your desires, then... Surely you would leave, wouldn't you?" This is all that it took to cause those tears to slip down, leaving hot streaks on his cheeks.

"Usagi-san..." Misaki choked out, then moving his other hand to fall over the top of the hand he'd been holding onto tightly. "I have never lied to you... Wh-When I've said how happy you make me f-feel... I'm just... What we have isn't... It's not normal, from how I grew up. You don't... You don't just fall in love with a guy and say it's okay... We can't have our relationship public without the threat of us having to wear disguises in public... And I don't want to ruin your public image, either. I know Aikawa-san and Isaka-san wouldn't be having such a fit, but... The rest of Tokyo and Japan..."

"You want us to be safe, is that what you're saying, Misaki...?" The brunette nods, sniffling as he wipes away tears, albeit fruitlessly. Usagi swipes away the couple that had fallen from his own eyes, then moving the free hand to wipe away Misaki's tears. "...you're not selfish in the slightest, you know that...?" Running fingers through Misaki's thick, brown hair, he leans over as best he could to place a kiss to his forehead.

"I-I'm not...?" Akihiko lets out a laugh, smiling softly as the light was returning to his eyes. Taking the hand up from on top of his other hand, he twines their digits together gently.

"No... You're showing that you care about me, you know that? All of that shows just how much you really love me, if you want us both to be safe, and not just yourself... It's not selfish in the slightest, and... It's a beautiful thing about you, how big your heart is..." Smiling so softly it only caused Misaki's heart to throb in pain and happiness, the brunette leans closer to place a nervous peck against Akihiko's forehead in return.

"Y-Your heart's just as big...! You... Even though I'm... difficult, when it comes to th-this love thing... You still... You never leave..." His eyes begin to well up again. "That's why i-it scared me so much... waiting t-to hear what happened to you..." There's a sniffle and even a hiccup as he starts shaking. "You... You can't just do something l-like that after all we've been through..." With that, Misaki slumps over against Akihiko's side, sobbing into the sheets.

"...I understad, Misaki." It only caused the novelist more pain to feel this agony dripping off of his lover, the one he held so dearly to his heart. He should never have caused Misaki this kind of pain or worry, and he really shouldn't have forgotten to take care of himself like that, all because of his father's words... "Stay the night with me, please, Misaki...?" The brunette simply nods, gripping tighter to the hand he'd intertwined fingers with, trembling as he let out the sadness and fear he'd felt in far too large a dose.

Later on, he'd fallen asleep sobbing before Aikawa showed up to check on Akihiko. She remained silent when spying Misaki settled so carefully against Akihiko, and the novelist gave her a look that said, "Don't get any ideas for BL novels, this is really serious." The editor sets down a get well card from herself and Isaka, before Akihiko explains he'll be out soon. However, the editor waves him off, telling him he needs to take better care of himself for Misaki's sake ( as well as her own, of course! ) before she leaves the room and hospital to head home.

The following day, after running tests and finding everything in working, healthy order, the hospital discharged Akihiko, and Misaki walked with him back to the condo. However, when the novelist made the attempt to hold hands, he didn't fight it this time. There was a nervous need to never let go of Akihiko, never turn down these little romantic actions that seemed to heal his heart one fraction at a time. He was afraid of a repeat of the events from before.

"Thank you." Akihiko quietly murmurs, just loud enough for Misaki to hear, and the brunette was almost positive that he could feel an intense warmth exchanged between their hands. It felt nice.

"Sh-Shut up idiot Usagi." The small front he puts up doesn't hide that he squeezes back when Akihiko does so, cheeks flushed the lightest pink. They remained this way all the walk to the condo. There was no light chatter or mentioning anything as they passed the shops, just a quiet silence as they exchanged warmth through their palms.

Upon arriving at the complex, Akihiko gives a look to Misaki, but he doesn't quite act on it yet, waiting until they're alone in the elevator to do so. "Misaki... You've stated in the past that... You claim I've never forced you into anything, yet... I worry you only said that in fear of being troublesome. Were you speaking truthfully, before...?" It wasn't as if he didn't trust Misaki's word, but everything he's done to the younger... It wouldn't surprise him in the least to come to such a conclusion.

"Ah..." Meeting Akihiko's gaze, he's about to speak when the elevator gives a ding, and they're walking to the condo door. "W-Well... Yes and no..." As they made their way into the apartment, it was almost purely instinct that carried them to the novelist's bedroom. "I... At the time I didn't want to make the situation any worse, but... What you've done to me... Yes, the first time wasn't really... Well, it was definitely just sexual harassment." Even if he did enjoy it when the novelist had started-- but people could cut him some slack since he'd never done anything with anyone and he'd never really... consciously thought about masturbating, really. So, he'd been sensitive before.

"But, the time after... when we had sex... Before you got serious, there was a moment I could have ran, I could have leapt off the couch and avoided it altogether, yet... I didn't." It's about now the two are settling on the bed together, simply sitting side by side while holding hands. "You gave me every chance possible to run before you got serious about me, and I never once thought 'Y'know what, no! I'm leaving!' even though I exclaimed over and over to myself that... there wasn't anything special about you."

"Perhaps you held a more subconscious desire for me that you knew." There's a small, almost smug smile on Akihiko's face, and Misaki lets out a huff in return of it. "I apologize for the first time, and any time you've told me no in the past... I'm still getting used to... feeling so strongly for someone." There's a slow nod, and Misaki blinks, verdant hues turning up to watch Akihiko's expression for a moment. Then, he reaches his free hand up to ruffle the novelist's hair.

"Well, you're getting better, but just don't do anything stupid like this again!" His voice didn't raise too much, but he gives a light flick to Akihiko's forehead after stating this. "If something's wrong, tell me! I'll just have to get it in your head that I'm not about to break that marble wish you made." This only caused for his cheeks to get stupidly red, but he meant what he'd said. He meant it with all of his heart.

"I understand, Misaki." With that, Akihiko was about to lean in for a kiss before he was caught off guard by Misaki wrapping his arms around him as tight as he could. There was some sort of muffled 'You better understand!' before he felt the soft nuzzle of Misaki's nose against his neck. Smiling warmly, he wraps his arms around him in return, before he's met with yet another surprise.

Misaki used his own weight and pushed Akihiko against the bed, simply laying on top of him and nuzzling his neck before pulling away with the hottest flush on his cheeks that it could practically compete with a furnace. "Can... Can I show you how I feel, a little bit, Usagi-san?" Referencing the tender touches that expressed how precious the person in his arms was, how nice that felt, how happy it made him feel every time they had sex... "I-I know it won't be good but--" He's cut off as Akihiko pulls him into a loving kiss.

"Please, Misaki." Violet hues almost desperately pleaded for the offer, and the brunette hopes he didn't get himself in too deep here. However, he then reminds himself that, for Akihiko, touch is something so incredibly important in expressing how much love you hold for someone.

"Mm." Nodding, he leans in and kisses Akihiko tenderly, allowing the novelist to turn it passionate fairly quickly, though Akihiko remained passive with his touch, aside from wrapping his arms around Misaki's back. Upon pulling from the kiss for air, Misaki leans in and presses gentle, chaste kisses to the novelist's neck, surprised to see him tilt his chin to give him more places to kiss. Maybe this wasn't as hard as he'd thought... yeah...! This definitely gave him a little more confidence, even though his cheeks were still practically on fire.

Trailing the kisses down, he unbuttons Akihiko's shirt steadily, though shivering as he felt the ashen haired elder unzip his jacket while he worked on the buttons. Shedding the clothing adorning their torsos, Misaki tosses the tops onto the floor, placing more chaste kisses against Akihiko's chest, especially peppering them against his heart. Eventually, he simply rested his ear against Akihiko's chest, and he was almost certain he heard the slight shift in the beat when he did.

"...it's beating so fast..."

"Because I'm with you." The novelist's simple, instinctual answer only caused Misaki to sputter, before he clears his throat and moves on to removing their pants and undergarments. It was about here that he was getting evidently more nervous about his actions. Sure they'd done it plenty of times, but Akihiko was clearly experienced and well versed in the act. "Here..." Reaching for one of the drawers, Akihiko grabs a condom and some lubricant, then handing them to Misaki. "Do you want some help here...?" His voice was as calm, deep, and husky as Misaki remembered it, causing him to huff and shake his head.

"N-No... But..." He puffs his cheeks a bit. "Would... W-Would you... be uncomfortable if I... I..." His voice trembled a bit in embarrassment before he pouted more and dipped his hips to brush the tip of his fully erect cock against Akihiko's entrance. Looking away, he then looks again to see that he has actually managed to cause a flush of embarrassment to fall on Akihiko's cheeks. However, he was still smiling, and hummed.

"I wouldn't be in the slightest bit uncomfortable. Though, allow me to help with stretching, alright?" Still speaking in that molten voice, Misaki nods and swallows, grabbing the condom from earlier to open it, sliding it on carefully. While he did so, Akihiko was already getting some lubricant on a few digits, before he moved them to set to work. Misaki couldn't watch at first, mainly due to embarrassment and how arousing it was, but the erotic factor drove green hues to the scene, then watching Akihiko's expression.

Which, in turn, he was close to ready to burst, and he hadn't even touched Akihiko that much. But that lewd expression on his lover's face while he stretched himself... Good lord, what would it be like when he pushed inside? The thought was almost enough to cause him to salivate, but in his embarrassment, he distracts himself with stroking Akihiko slowly and tenderly. The combined pleasure is enough for the novelist to stifle a groan, trying to not buck up into the stroking.

Once he'd finished, he of course had no way of resisting the urge to lube Misaki up, getting a little more lube on his hand to stroke over the younger's cock. The brunette does his best to not crumple against him at this rate, his breathing coming in quick bursts as he shuddered and held on to Akihiko's arm for support. When the hand had pulled away, he moved to get himself into position, though Akihiko aided him with raising his hips and legs for him.

"R-Ready... U-Usagi-san?" There's a nervous bite at his lower lip as he presses the very tip against the older's entrance, and he feels him shudder all over from that alone. Receiving a nod, he reaches down and guides the tip inside, then letting out a trembling moan when he felt the heat surrounding the tip of his cock. Taking a few deep breaths, he then pushed the rest of the way in, earning more shivers from Akihiko.

"Mmhn... wait..." Akihiko murmurs almost breathlessly, gripping at the sheets of the bed as his back arches a little bit. Getting used to the full feeling, he lets out a quiet moan before wrapping his arms around Misaki's shoulders. "...go ahead now." Nodding, he kisses Misaki before groaning when he feels the younger start to move. It was a bit new to be the one on bottom here, but incredibly arousing that it was with Misaki of all people. Only Misaki could do this to him, he wouldn't have this any other way.

"U-Usagi-san... I-It's... It's so hot..." Misaki barely manages to breath between possessive kisses and moans. It was hard to keep up with this and he was going to veer off the edge at this rate. "I... Mmhn...!" He's cut off with another kiss as Akihiko is meeting his thrusts hungrily, holding him tight the whole while.

"I love you, Misaki. I love you so much." Akihiko simply breathes this into the younger's ear, and it's enough to just slam Misaki right into the abyss of ecstasy, thrusts getting erratic as he rides out his orgasm. As he did so, Akihiko felt himself peak, bringing Misaki into one more hungry kiss to muffle his own noises of pleasure, relishing in the flavor only Misaki offered, one he couldn't go without.

"Ahh... haa..." Panting once they separate, it takes Misaki a few breaths before he has the energy to pull himself, whimpering a bit at how sensitive he was now. Sliding the condom off, he ties it before tossing it in a wastebin in the room, then flopping back on the bed next to Akihiko. "How... d-do you do that so... effortlessly, Usagi-san?" Misaki looks pointedly at the ashen haired elder, puffing his cheeks in a pout. Though, Akihiko looked fairly out of breath this time as well, despite how wide his lips were turned in a loving grin.

"Mm, stamina, for one..." Reaching over, the novelist pulls Misaki into a close, loving embrace before he speaks again. "For two, you drive me so wild it's hard to contain my primal urges, you know..." The brunette turns extremely red once more, trying to flail out of Akihiko's grasp now. "Mm, which, speaking of... you did so well, you know? Shouldn't I return the favor tenfold to thank you?" There's a mischievous smirk plastered on Akihiko's face, and Misaki can hardly yell and struggle when he's pinned to the bed and covered in kisses.

Though he struggled and whined and whimpered, deep down, Misaki was softly telling Akihiko _thank you_ , over and over again. _Thank you for loving me, and thank you for letting me love you._


End file.
